For the Love of Paul

I'm on my way to La Crosse, Wisconsin, to attend the wedding of one of my friends. I cannot begin to tell you how much I'm looking forward to driving in my Suzuki Forenza with a 10-year-old and a 7-year-old, plus my husband who has an uncomfortable UTI (look it up for yourself), for five hours. Then, because teleportation hasn't been invented yet, we get to drive back on Sunday. For another five hours. I hope my friend Paul knows just how much I freakin' love him.

He said, "your presence is our present." Of course, I was like, "No, no, no. We're getting you a gift. Where are you registered?" But then he was like, "We're registered for a bunch of stuff we don't really need. Please, just come to the wedding. That's enough of a gift." So, I compromised. Gift card!

A gift card that, after a 10-hour car trip, may just be staying in my wallet. I love you, Paul. But I also love Linens n Things. And it's only a 10-minute drive.

- Inda

Shhh... we're trying to help you.

I was reading a fascinating article this week in the Chicago Tribune about how Senegal has one of the lowest concentrations of HIV-infected adults on the continent of Africa. This is partially due to the fact that Senegal is a predominantly Muslim nation (they don't drink -- and we all know that drunk sex = stupid sex; they don't allow the kiddies to socialize; they actually have some morals.) This is also due in great part to the fact that Senegal has adopted a comprehensive sex education program in their schools. As early as 1st grade, children are give AIDS awareness training, and at age 12 they begin sex education. The imams, of course, do not teach condom usage in the mosques, but they can and do discuss HIV and AIDS outside of the mosques as well as refer people to the local clinics and doctors who can have these discussions more openly, without violating Islamic laws. One imam who was interviewed for the article said that they treat HIV and AIDS like any other disease. BRILLIANT!

And what is OUR country doing to help the rest of Africa, you might wonder? What are we doing for the sub-Saharan nations of Africa with 25.8 million HIV-infected people? What plan of action do we have in place to help them? Never fear. Our President, in his wisdom, has just the answer. It's PEPFAR. PEPFAR is the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief.

Sounds great, doesn't it?! But wait -- there's more. Or, more accurately, there's less. In order to receive PEPFAR funding, countries have to "constrain teaching about condoms in favor of abstinence-based lessons." So... in order to receive money from the U.S. for AIDS education, countries cannot talk about condoms? We will help you stop the spread of this horrific disease that is ravaging your nations, but you can't talk about the one thing that will help stop the spread of this horrific diesease. What the -- ?!?!?!

- Inda

Underachievers... Yay, you!

I just left my son's little league opening day baseball game. That's him in the picture. Apparently, there are a lot of parents whose kids have not accomplished much yet in life. There were parents there with video cameras. My son's seven. Yeah. Seven. If you're not familiar with this life-altering, Saturday morning event, let me break it down to you: seven-year-olds don't really do much on a baseball field. But if it's your kid's first season playing, I guess that can be monumental for you. Not.

The thing that really got me was at the opening day rally. Every player had their name in a drawing to win a $20 Best Buy or Toys-R-Us gift card. Every player. The kids didn't have to do anything special, other than their parents paid the league registration and they had to be present this morning to get the prize if their name was called. That's all. There was nothing the kids actually did in order to win. But you'd have thought that these little crites had discovered a cure for cancer the way their overzealous parents were cheering for them when they won a freakin' gift card. "Yeah, Jumoja! You go, boy!" "That's right, Durantaaayye!" "Do that thing, Aquinettaclaymationrojofunjali Jenkins! That's my baby!" Did I mention that the kids didn't do a damn thing?!?!?!

Now, I know I'm a proud mama, but my kids give me reason to be: first place in Science Fair (two years in a row), third place in Math Bowl Competition, one year ahead in math classes with staight A's (two years in a row), Principal's Honors Roll -- that's straight A's in all subjects (three years in a row), third place in Spelling Bee, blue belt in karate, and you should hear the kids play piano and guitar. And still, you don't see me shouting from the rafters.

Parents, expect more for your children. Don't get so damn excited when they don't do shiznit. Praise their academics instead of falling out like Arsenio Hall when they dance for company at the Fourth of July barbeque. And make 'em lay off the sugar. I digress, but it's still important. Maybe little Kujicountchocula won't grow up to be a rocket scientist or lead the field of oncology, but he/she may just give you more than a single to first and a trip to Toys-R-Us.

- Inda

April Fool

Here's a picture of my kids last week, making their April snowman. Ah, Chicago. Can't wait to leave. Did I mention that this was in April? It snowed all that day. Last week. In April!

But the kids look happy. And it got them outside of the house. They had been cooped up because it was so cold that week. And why were they home, you might ask, and not in school? Because they were on Spring Break! Insane!!

- Inda

Getting There

Dangit, I just want to get to L.A., remind everybody why they loved us in Aspen, and get to working. Or at least go to the beach. We've actually got some things set up for when we go in June, just before or just after the Sketchfest New York. Come on, fame and fortune. Not that I'm only doing this work for fame or for fortune. Heck no. It's the art. It's the awesome relationship I have with my Kevin. It's knowing that we've created something that is needed and wanted in our community. It's all those things. But, let's face it, Mama's gotta pay for her implants.

- Inda

True Star Material

Here's an excerpt from a recent review of Black Diamond, playing at Lookingglass Theatre in Chicago. It's about my Kevin.

" ...Kevin Douglas ... comes close to stealing the show. Faster than the speed of light in his verbal and physical acrobatics, he is electrifying -- true star material." Hedy Weiss, Chicago Sun-Times.

WHAT!?! It's absolutely true. The Chicago Tribune's Chris Jones totally slept on Kevin in his review. But the cream always rises. Yay, Kevin!

- Inda

Black Diamond

It's Tech week!!!!! I am in a show at Lookingglass Theatre Company called Black Diamond. AND it is awesome!! I have learned a lot of acrobatics and it is awesome!! There is fighting and climbing and near raping, and death, guns, and gunshots and it all takes place in a little red-headed stepchild place called Liberia. Yes, that is where ex-slaves and other Blacks were sent way back when and now the U.S. barely claims it. That country is the most American and again the U.S. does not really claim it... I mean they claim it but it's kinda like, "Yeah he's my brother BUT only by marriage. I mean, we see each other at reunions, but we don't really talk-talk... " Same thing. But I have learned a lot about the country and its politics. I do a great Liberian accent, if i do say so myself. Man, this show is something and the cast is great and the people at Lookingglass are awesome! Did I tell you I learned to climb down a rope from twenty feet UPSIDE DOWN!!!! And I get to do something else pretty special from twenty feet BUT you have to see the show. I will give you a hint... Tom Cruise did it in one of his movies... no, Inda, it's not being gay! Though that can be done at any height... I imagine. I mean, I don't imagine being gay-- never mind.

Closed Blaxploitation 2: You Know How We Deux!!!! I was actually sad. The cast was awesome and the show was great -- better than the first!! Audience members came back like two and three times. People are talkin' about us doing a third one. Man, I don't know. This one was stressful and my plate is full and I'm tired. Yeah, I probably will do another one, but I got other stuff I wanna write.

Aspen was great. Be in L.A. soon. Inda was kind of worried and me a little bit that people in L.A. would forget us but, honestly, how can they forget us? We are funny, smart, and BLACK!!! Now if it was the Funny Smart Black Festival, hell yeah, be worried, but it wasn't. It was a comedy festival. A BIG ONE, TOO!!! It went well and we are where we are supposed to be and most importantly we worked really hard to get where we are. And again, I have said this before (hence "again"), God's got it.

- Kevin