Flowin'

Merry Christmas... CPT. Merry Christmas, that is. Stream of consciousness, ready?

James Brown died at age 73. You lived a long life for a black man. James Brown, you are the real super bad! Movin' YEAH Groovin' YEAH!!! RIP

Gerald Ford? Um. He died at 94 I believe. You lived a long life for a white man of privilege. I pray that I see 94. I am being sincere. He was privileged. He was a damn President. That is the highest privilege, next to a person of royalty. Man, ya'll are sensitive. Fine. You lived a long life for someone of your stature. What does that even mean? Okay people, move on. Stream of consciousness, I'm streamin'...

Inda, I got your back on your support the troops blog. Oh yours was thank them for what? You might be alone on that one, just kidding. Yeah, ya'll should read that one, but if you are programmed by the machine don't read it because... just because. Now they'll read it Inda and hello controversy. So this is how Mel Gibson and other celebrities do it. The celebrites know what they are doing. Release an album, movie, or DVD, but do something that will get you in the media first, drink and drive, do drugs, do a prostitute, a little boy, say something about Jews or n-words --

Why are we still giving Michael Richards attention? Don't watch, acknowledge, or buy anything Seinfeld or with Michael Richards on it or in it. There, problem solved. He's a third-rate celebrity getting first-rate attention.

Tsunami's anniversary was yesterday. But we are America. We barely care about our own "little" hurricane victims, so why would we remember any one elses. Richest country...? Yeah, rich with selfishness. Rich with ignorance... rich with... you get it.

Family. I love family. I was hanging with some friends in Texas they are like my second family... 'cause... yes that is where I spent ten years of my life, and there are some good people there. Granted, they were not born in Texas, but seriously, I give Texas shit, but I gotta tell you there are some nice people there. Texans at least say hi and carry on conversations; they want to help you. So I say this, customer service in Chicago could learn a lot from customer service in Texas. Oh, while I am on that. When you are working a JOB, like a customer service job, snide comments or asking unnecessary or inappropriate questions is not what you are paid to do. For example:

ME: Hi. I accidentally ripped the DVD cellophane, but did not open it enough to take it out of the package so can I exchange it?
CHICAGO CUSTOMER SERVICE REP: Well, maybe you should have read the package.
ME: So, is that a yes to the exchange?
CHICAGO: What do you think?
ME: Well bitch (not a woman, but a male bitch, don't know if he was gay, but he was a male and acting like a bitch), you shouldn't have asked me that because I THINK you are paid to answer my damn question and nothing else. You live in America, everything is a choice. And in America you have other shitty jobs you can work at. So Mr. Minimum Wage, is that a yes or a no to the exchange, and you better answer it correctly because I will be more than happy to repeat this to your manager and anyone else in earshot of me. So what's your answer, bitch!?

Did it really happen? To me? Something like that, but I am sure the exact thing happened to someone. It's your job. Shut up, answer the questions or quit. Don't use your job to vent or release whatever anger you have pent up inside you.

I got NAS's new album Hip Hop is Dead... Yes, Nas, it is dead and MTV, BET, and Clear Channel, to name a few, killed it. MTV -- the only network to commit suicide and reincarnate itself into a worse broadcast than it was before. Aren't you suppose to get better with age? MTV has gotten repulsive with age. And our kids are retarded, thanks to MTV. And MTV is patting itself on the shoulder with every ignorant teenager that it has helped produce. Well done, Music Television, well done. MTV: They're skipping school anyway, fuck'em. Yeah MTV !!!

Oh, I shouldn't have said any of that because MTV may want me to write for them and then they will find this blog... oh, I don't have a chance of getting hired there because mediocrity is king and I don't have the power to overthrow it -- YET!

- Kevin

I'm Black and I'm Proud!

James Brown died early Christmas morning. He was 73.

Not Black History Month!

Did y'all read this?

Iran vowed Sunday to push forward efforts to enrich uranium and to change its relations with the international nuclear watchdog after the U.N. Security Council imposed sanctions designed to stop the country's disputed atomic program.

Iran's hard-line President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said the Security Council would regret voting in favor of the sanctions, saying he was sorry the West lost its chance to make amends with Iran. "I am sorry for you who lost the opportunity for friendship with the nation of Iran. You yourself know that you cannot damage the nation of Iran an iota," the state-run news agency, IRNA, quoted Ahmadinejad as saying.

Ahmadinejad also said the United Nations must accept Iran's nuclear program and warned that sanctions would not harm his country. "You have to accept that Iran has the technology of producing nuclear fuel. And it will celebrate it in coming anniversary of the 1979 Islamic revolution in February," Ahmadinejad was quoted as saying.

Foreign Ministry spokesman Mohammad Ali Hosseini said Iran would change its relationship with the U.N. nuclear watchdog, the International Atomic Energy Agency. "We are not obliged and it is not expected that cooperation with the IAEA continues at the same former level," Hosseini told reporters. He did not elaborate.

Iran's parliament on Sunday voted to urge the country's administration to revise its cooperation with the IAEA but did not set a timeline or provide further details. Many legislators chanted "Death to America" after the vote.

Man, I got stuff to do in March. I'd like to still be here to do it.

- Inda

My Favorite Lionel

Someone e-mailed me this, and I'm sad.

Actor Mike Evans, best known as Lionel Jefferson in the TV sitcoms “All in the Family” and “The Jeffersons,” has died. He was 57. Evans died of throat cancer December 14 at his mother’s home in Twentynine Palms, said his niece, Chrystal Evans. Evans, along with Eric Monte, also created and wrote for “Good Times,” one of the first TV sitcoms that featured a primarily black cast.

Michael Jonas Evans was born November 3, 1949, in Salisbury, North Carolina. His father, Theodore Evans Sr., was a dentist while his mother, Annie Sue Evans, was a school teacher. The family moved to Los Angeles when Evans was a child.

He studied acting at Los Angeles City College before getting the role of Lionel Jefferson in 1970s situation comedy “All in the Family.” Evans kept the role of Lionel when “The Jeffersons” launched in 1975. The hit show was a spinoff featuring bigoted Archie Bunker’s black neighbors in Queens who “move on up to the East Side” of Manhattan. Evans was replaced by Damon Evans (no relation) for four years, then he returned to the series from 1979 to 1981.

He also acted in the 1976 TV miniseries “Rich Man, Poor Man” and made guest appearances on the TV series “Love, American Style” and “The Streets of San Francisco.” His last role was in a 2000 episode of “Walker, Texas Ranger.” In recent years he had invested in real estate in Southern California.

- Inda

Saying Thank You

A friend recently e-mailed me a link to an online greeting card of sorts, which she wanted me to sign onto to say "thank you" to the U.S. troops in Iraq. Now, I have no problem saying "take care of yourselves" or "your family and friends love you" or "be careful" and of course "come home safe." I do, however, have a problem saying "thank you." And I expressed my earnest confusion over this specific term to my friend. What exactly are we thanking them for, I queried. Her response, in short, was that we should be thanking them for doing a job that we don't want to do.

Well, hell, in that case we should be thanking accountants. Where's the online greeting card for the schmuck who works a 9-5 in a 4x4 felt-covered cubicle attached by hinges? Where's the support for the loser who wears a shirt and tie to work every single day to go crunch numbers? How many little boys and girls dream of growing up one day to be the person who counts other people's money? Ooh, and maybe they can make a few extra dollars at tax time freelancing. During their off-time. Talk about doing a crap job that nobody else wants. Who's thanking the accountants?

Now, I'm not unpatriotic. Okay, I am. But I still maintain that I don't owe thanks to someone for making their own career choice. So you chose to serve in the military. Okay. That's fine. I don't need to thank you for it. You do your thing.

Now, on the other hand, if our country had been invaded and the U.S. military were literally protecting us, then heck yes, a million thanks. But wasn't this war begun to find WMDs? Where there weren't any? Yeah, thought so. And weren't we fed a lot of propaganda about fighting "terror"? Oh, yeah, these aren't the same people who were behind the 9/11 attacks. Different people entirely. So why are they still there? That's right, they're training the Iraqi military (who aren't bothering to show up for duty) to defend Iraq so they can take care of themselves. Because they asked us to come and do that. Oh, no, they didn't. What should we do now? Send more troops! INSANE!!! But I digress.

It's not their fault that they're there. I feel bad that this is happening to them. Really bad. They're getting hurt, losing their lives, seeing horrors of war. So how about a sympathy card? Instead of sending a card that says "thank you," we should send a card that says "Sorry the government lied to you. They lied to us, too. Sorry you can't come home. Sorry you're helping people who don't want your help. Sorry you didn't have a better guidance counselor in high school. Sorry you didn't become an accountant instead of joining the military."

- Inda

Aspen Baby!

kevINda will perform in the HBO U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen. The festival is the end of February through first week of March. Couldn't be happier.

Guess the journey ain't so bad.

- Inda

Journey This!

If one more person tells me, "It's all about the journey," I'm going to stab them in the eyeball. I don't care who it is. Friend, acquaintance, well-meaning clergyperson... doesn't matter. I can't hear "It's all about the journey" one more freakin' time.

Here's why: It's a lie. It's a passive-aggressive way to tell someone that you don't really believe in them. What you're really saying, in a smarmy, new-agey kinda way is this: I know you won't actually achieve this lofty, fantasy of a goal you've set for yourself. Everyone who knows you knows that you're going to fail. But since you won't admit your imminent failure to yourself, there's nothing else I can tell you but to enjoy it. You won't reach that destination, loser, so enjoy the ride. It's all about the journey. Sucker.

Well, I don't buy that. Or I don't want to buy into it. And as long as I don't... as long as I keep telling myself that I'll reach a real and true goal... as long as I stay in denial... I'll be fine.

So, no, I will not enjoy the journey. In fact, I'm doing everything I can to make the "journey" as miserable, difficult, rocky, and cringe-inducing as I possibly can. And I'm taking you all along with me for the painful ride. That way, when I do get "there," I can say it was worth all the pain-staking effort. So not only am I enduring the pain and suffering, but I'm creating more as I go along. Illogical? Whatever. It's better than going through life all journey-bound. That's a one-way ticket to nowheresville. Screw that. I have a destination. I'm goal-oriented, unlike these "journey" freaks who just want to enjoy "being" and "traveling" to their nowhere. I've got somewhere to be and a time-table to get me there. I may be late, I may be cranky, and I may be frustrated. But when I arrive, and I will... oh, yes, I will... I'll be happier and more satisfied than any of the "journeymen" who are just content to "be." Cause I've been through it. The ringer, baby. And I came out the other side. Or... I will... in the future.

But in the meantime, DO NOT try to sell me the "It's all about the journey" line. Or if you do, pick an eye. It's your choice. Whichever one you want. Enjoy the choosing. It's all about the choosing.

- Inda

Do Not Invoke the Name of The Pryor!

Go to jesterjournal.com to read a review of our recent New York showcase for HBO's US Comedy Arts Festival.

- Inda

The Callback!

We would like to thank The PIT, Kirsten, Alex, Mary, TV's Lamorne, Tamberla (for sending her friends), 2 Girls for 5 Bucks and Livia Scott for the wonderful experience! The second showcase for HBO went well. We'll hear somethin' in a few weeks. We would also like to thank everyone for their prayers and continued support. kevINda loves each and everyone of you... and some of you more than others.

- kevINda

Cracker vs. N-Word

So a Cracker and a Nig -- N-Word -- were sitting and having lunch. The N-word is the only N-word in the break room. The rest are all Crackers:

Cracker: Hey what do you think of the whole Michael Richards thing, or better yet, the N-word?
N-Word: What do you think of it?
Cracker: I think it's awful. What he said, I was appalled. If I hadn't seen the video I never would have believed it --
N-Word: I know you wouldn't have.
Cracker: Um, right -- I just wouldn't have believed it. I mean, Seinfeld is such a great show --
N-Word: Oh, the show that takes place in the dimension where New York is filled with all white people?
Cracker: Um, ah, I don't understand --
N-Word: You wouldn't. Keep going. You were saying something about the N-Word?
Cracker: Oh, yes. I think the N-Word is awful and no one should use it. I get offended when I hear it. What do you think?
N-Word: Wow. Well, you know what I get offended by?
Cracker: Wha --
N-Word: Crackers who like to focus their energy on shit that they should not be focusing their energy on. Micromanaging Crackers. They offend me. Closeted white guilt. That offends me. Just admit you feel guilty about what your ancestors did, and that you are sorry that you are and will continue to reap the benefits of slavery. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE OFFENDS ME?
Cracker: Um, please lower your --
N-Word: The fact that niggers are filling up our prisons; the fact that most cities with a large Black population have a ghetto filled with Black people; the fact that those ghettos have schools that are below average; the fact that there is AIDS in Africa, or forget Africa, the Black females here have a higher percentage of AIDS cases than any other race in the U.S. and growing; the fact that niggers in New Orleans are not even a concern anymore, even though it looks the same as it did a year ago; the fact that CRACKERS always want my opinion on the damn N-WORD!! Why don't you let us handle the N-Word since we are the only ones that should be using it, and you handle the other shit!
Cracker: Okay. Um... One last question before security gets here. Why can't we use it?
(N-Word gives Cracker a look that could kill.)
Cracker: Never mind. We have enough. We'll go ahead and start focusing on the other "shit" you had mentioned.
(N-Word exits.)
Cracker: (to the other Crackers in break room.) That nigger is crazy.

Blackout.

- Kevin