Underachievers... Yay, you!

I just left my son's little league opening day baseball game. That's him in the picture. Apparently, there are a lot of parents whose kids have not accomplished much yet in life. There were parents there with video cameras. My son's seven. Yeah. Seven. If you're not familiar with this life-altering, Saturday morning event, let me break it down to you: seven-year-olds don't really do much on a baseball field. But if it's your kid's first season playing, I guess that can be monumental for you. Not.

The thing that really got me was at the opening day rally. Every player had their name in a drawing to win a $20 Best Buy or Toys-R-Us gift card. Every player. The kids didn't have to do anything special, other than their parents paid the league registration and they had to be present this morning to get the prize if their name was called. That's all. There was nothing the kids actually did in order to win. But you'd have thought that these little crites had discovered a cure for cancer the way their overzealous parents were cheering for them when they won a freakin' gift card. "Yeah, Jumoja! You go, boy!" "That's right, Durantaaayye!" "Do that thing, Aquinettaclaymationrojofunjali Jenkins! That's my baby!" Did I mention that the kids didn't do a damn thing?!?!?!

Now, I know I'm a proud mama, but my kids give me reason to be: first place in Science Fair (two years in a row), third place in Math Bowl Competition, one year ahead in math classes with staight A's (two years in a row), Principal's Honors Roll -- that's straight A's in all subjects (three years in a row), third place in Spelling Bee, blue belt in karate, and you should hear the kids play piano and guitar. And still, you don't see me shouting from the rafters.

Parents, expect more for your children. Don't get so damn excited when they don't do shiznit. Praise their academics instead of falling out like Arsenio Hall when they dance for company at the Fourth of July barbeque. And make 'em lay off the sugar. I digress, but it's still important. Maybe little Kujicountchocula won't grow up to be a rocket scientist or lead the field of oncology, but he/she may just give you more than a single to first and a trip to Toys-R-Us.

- Inda