Actor Evaluation

I recently had another couple of mediocre theatre auditions. Not mediocre for me. They were both pretty darn good...for me...I thought. But apparently not good enough. Apparently, I am mediocre compared to the actors who keep getting cast. Those actors not being me. But compared to the actors who audition for the roles that I do get, I'm pretty darn awesome. Or maybe those other women are having mediocre days. But how do you know? How do you know that you've actually done something cast-worthy, or at least callback-worthy? What about those times when you think you've "left some stank up in that room," as my buddy J. Nicole Brooks once put it, and then you don't even get called back? Were the other actors just that fantastic, or was your perspective of what is good and what is mediocre just skewed too far one way or the other? And who the heck is gonna tell you?

Wouldn't it be great if there were some sort of actor evaluation that your "boss" gives you once a year? Like they do for people with real jobs. Some feedback to be delivered. Some comments section to be filled out. Then you have an annual sit-down to discuss the evaluation. You talk about your job performance goals for the upcoming year, and what you can do toward them. After five and ten years on the job, you get to pick out some anniversary gift from a catalog. Like a telescope or a men's and women's watch set. Oh, and there's a 401K plan, too. That'd be cool. But the evaluation -- that's key. It could be from some Human Resources person or from your supervisor. But there'd be someone. Someone to tell you how you're doing.

I guess if you book and get cast, then that's your feedback right there, isn't it? You've got somebody offering you the gig and paying you money to do it. I know, there are a lot of factors that go into the casting process that may have nothing to do with who is the most talented, gifted actor. You might be too tall, too thin, your hair's too nappy, too straight, you don't look quite old enough for the role (I'm a 38-year-old woman, dammit!), you look too much like someone's ex who broke their heart twelve years ago, someone else is more likely to put out...anything. It could be anything that has nothing to do with your giftedness. But what if it has everything to do with you? Who's gonna tell you? How do you know?

Maybe you should just be a writer...

- Inda